6 figures

They say that Stay-at-home moms would be worth $130,000/year, which would be a pretty sweet income if we got paid for the work we do. I think some days I earn it more than others. Here's a rundown of today:

5:59~Rose meanders in my room, and climbs in bed with me when she realizes I remembered to lock the pantry door last night. Mommy-1, Rose-0. (But, I was sleeping so well when she interrupted, so she gets a point by default...Mommy-1, Rose-1)

7:15~Thomas is found trying to spike his hair, then proclaims he really wants a mohawk. "You want a what?" "A mohawk, Mommy. Can I?" "You can, at the most, have a fauxhawk."

7:20~I found Rose bare-bottomed for the first time today---new obsession with taking off her diaper. She thinks she's ready to potty train; Me thinks she's not.

9:00~After 3 failed attempts at collecting a urine sample from my 6-month old yesterday, I called the doctor's office to ask when it would be a good time to come back to retrieve some more urine collecting bags...left a message for nurse Tami. (Lucy had a UTI, and it is standard procedure for any child under 5 to have some routine tests done at the hospital; but we can't do the tests until they know for sure the urine is clear...thus, my new obsession with the urine collecting bags.)

9:30~Got Lucy dressed in red and white. Remembered how annoyed I get that everyone calls her a boy when she's not wearing pink. Decided to try my hand at "making her a bow." I know what you're thinking..."Grrrl! Oh no, you di-n't!" "Grrrl! Oh yes, I di-id!"

9:50~Changed L's diaper, only to discover I was using the last one. Whenever this happens, I can't, for the life of me, figure out how I let this happen. Today's excuse: I have two children in diapers, thus making it harder for me to remember when I bought which size diapers. Yeah, that's the ticket. (Maybe Rose is on to something w/ the potty training...)

10:00~Left for Anna's dance class, with a quick detour to Kroger first for diapers. Got 3, yes 3, compliments on the bow my little girl was wearing. Awesome. Ran into a friend of mine who is about to have her 3rd child in as many years, and tried to act like having 3 little ones at home was a breeze. Then Anna wandered into the parking lot, and Rose took her shoes off. (A quick trip to a Nebraska fire station before they change the law is sounding more enticing as I type.)


11:30~Dance was over, so drove thru and got the girls some greasy, nasty crap Happy Meals at McDonalds. Didn't have to make lunch--score another point for Mommy.

12:30~Checked my email for the first time today. Chatted with Lauren on gmail, then realized when Rose walked by that she had a present for me in her diaper. (See? What did I tell you?) Told Lauren I'd catch her on the flip side, then went to get Rose...Guess what? Oh, no, she DI-N'T!! Oh, yes. She did. Took her diaper off--#2 is getting everywhere. Let her know how disgusting I found the whole situation.

1:30~Completed my bible study on chapter 8 of Romans, feeling holy and fulfilled. Phone rings. It's the school nurse; she has Thomas. "Mrs. Liardon? As I'm sure you know, Thomas is the fastest in kid in 1st grade." Uh, yeah. So, what? Did he pull a hammy or something? "Well, the second fastest kid in 1st grade wasn't too happy about that, so he shoved Thomas down onto the sidewalk, and he's in the clinic with a minor head injury." Are you kidding me???? Mama Hen resists the urge to speed like a crazy person to the school to gather her baby chick under her wing, and to begin homeschooling. Also, she was afraid she'd have to show #2 who's boss. (Not really, but it sounded good.)

3:00~Rose wakes up crying because she can't find her glasses. Me thinks she's still dreaming. I go into her room, and find her sunglasses under her pillow. Of course. Isn't that what your children cuddle with during naptime?

3:30~The girls and I wait for Thomas to get home from the bus. We can't wait to hear his story and inspect his battle scars. He did not, indeed, provoke the child at all. (I do have a memory of Thomas at age 4 telling each child on his soccer team, "I'm faster than you. I'm faster than you. I'm faster than you." He's grown up a lot since then...) I just wanted to give him the biggest hug, and reward him with some hair product appropriate for creating the world's best fauxhawk.

3:45~Missed a call from nurse Tami (she finally called me back) that said to come in any time to get another bag, and that there was no rush.

5:05~Got a text message from Jeremy that said, "On a scale of 1-10, how bad do you want to go out to eat tonight?" That was the best text message I got all day. It's a good thing I make 6 figures and can pay for dinner...oh, wait.